


Making Waves

by Alexwritesfics



Series: Alex's Drabble Challenge [4]
Category: Downton Abbey
Genre: A side order of smut, A/B/O dynamics? I guess??, Actually really fluffy after chapter one, Andy is a sea creature, Happy Ending, M/M, Possessive Behaviour, Soulmates/Mates, Tentacles, request, that three part fic no-one asked for, tw: body horror, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-19 21:52:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4762391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alexwritesfics/pseuds/Alexwritesfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andy has a secret.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eye of the Storm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kaxen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaxen/gifts).



> ~~Cheesy title is cheesy.~~ I tried to write a one-shot. I really liked the challenge of the key word from Kaxen ("Tentacles"), though I was pretty apprehensive since that word usually leads to explicit sexual themes, which I was going to touch on. But d'you know what I love? Octo-mermaid people in really fluffy cute stories with just a hint of realism. This is partially inspired by Kaxen's Film Noir Magic AU, which I really reccomend you check out. This should be three-parts and shouldn't take me too long to complete. I'm sorry, I know I'm getting carried away with this, but I got a little inspired. There will be no horrifically explicit sex but sex will be a part of the story. I can understand why you might one to give this one a miss because of that. Anyway, this is just an experimental piece. Forgive me for any inaccuracies, since I don't know all that much about squids or octopi. Enjoy x

It had been a definite shock to Thomas' system when he'd felt warm, slick appendages wrap around him one night in Andy's room. He still felt Andy's breath tickling the back of his neck and Andy's strong arms around him. But this... This was different.

~*~

They'd argued that night about Thomas being so dismissive of the new temporary footmen. They were staying with the rest of the downstairs staff, as was usual for temporary staff. They were handsome, charming - bordering on mischievous - and were causing quite a stir among the curious maids. Andy had wished Thomas had been kinder to them. Thomas had said that he didn't care what they thought of him.

'Why are you being so cruel to them, Thomas?'

'I'm not being cruel! I just don't like that smarmy one, Henry.'

'What on earth has he ever done to you?'

'He keeps...' Thomas had sighed then, exasperated with himself and this entire conversation. '...He keeps giving you "the eye", Andy. I don't know how you didn't notice.'

'Wh-What? H-How...?' Andy had stammered, cheeks flushing.

'Like I said, I don't know how you didn't notice...' Thomas had muttered with more than a trace of bitterness.

'I'm not very good at picking up on cues... You must know that about me by now, Thomas,' Andy had mumbled. 'I can't... I can't read signs like you do.'

'Yes, well... I-I'm sorry. I know it was very immature of me,' Thomas had said, suddenly feeling very ashamed of himself. 'It's not like... Well, it's not I own you, is it?'

He'd needed to be alone.

'I'll see you tonight,' he had said quickly, leaving before Andy could protest.

~*~

'I know you try to be kind,' came a whisper that night from Andy.

Thomas stayed where he was in the bed, shock still running through him like ice and changing something at his core. 'I hope you do,' he finally said, lips feeling dry. 'It would hurt me to think that you didn't. I want to be good to you.'

He felt rather detached from what was happening - and yet he was transfixed. He could smell sea air. It had been years since he'd seen the sea for real, but he remembered the scent of the beach with all its rolling waves and bittersweet connotations attached to it.

Despite how bizarre this entire situation was, Thomas felt strangely calmed by the memory of the sea.

'You're always good to me... And tonight... You were kind to me. So kind,' Andy continued, something strange in his tone. 'Everyone was polite to me when I first started service. I thought I was finally figuring out your kind. But _you_ , Thomas... You made me feel like I didn't have to blend in anymore.' Andy sighed, and it was a happy, contented sound. 'I was lost in the city without you.'

Thomas felt the strange, fleshy cords pull tighter. _Oh god._ It felt like there were suckers against his skin...

'...I-I thought you were a city boy,' Thomas managed, starting to shiver as one of the tentacles coiled around his abdomen. He wanted to ask what Andy was doing, how any of this could possibly be happening, but he couldn't find the words.

'Not a city up here.'

'U-Up where?'

'On land, silly.'

Thomas willed his teeth to stop chattering. 'A-Andy... P-Please tell me-'

'-I'm sorry.' Andy's voice was sad now, and Thomas felt the strange appendages fall away, as if retracting into something. He could tell there would be faint marks on his skin from the suckers. 'I should have explained...'

'Andy please, what's going on?' Thomas begged quietly, feeling to uncertain of everything to sit up in the bed.

'I'm... I'm not who I said I was, Thomas,' Andy said, sounding as ashamed as Thomas felt from earlier.

Thomas felt pain strike his heart - _another lover, another liar._ But Andy... Thomas would have never have seen it coming. He wouldn't have believed Andy was being untruthful. Andy was kind, innocent and faithful until the end. Yes, Thomas would never have believed Andy was lying to him - unless the man himself was admitting it to him personally. And nothing hurt more now it had actually happened.

'Andy-' Thomas began, unsure of what else to say as his whole world was pulled from under him, but he was cut off by the footman.

'-I thought you were claiming me. I thought we were... I-I never understand your kind, I never-' Andy made a strange keening noise, and Thomas uncertainly held out his hand. Andy's cheeks were wet with tears, and Thomas' heart shattered into even tinier pieces.

'Well, you'd best own up to your lies,' Thomas said, trying to sound cold but failing. He could never hurt Andy, even if he really tried to, even if he really wanted to at all.

'I'm not one of you,' Andy said tremulously. 'B-But my love, you've got to believe m-me, my love is real. I've never met anyone like you, and I knew I wanted to be with you when I first saw you. I never lied about that. I-I love you, Thomas. But I'm not a-a human.' Andy sighed, as if finally letting go of a monumental secret. 'I'm a m-monster. I just wanted to blend in, I just wanted to make friends-'

Thomas felt, with dim horror, the weight of realisation on his shoulders.

The sea.

He could still smell the sea.

Tentacles...

_T-Tentacles..._

Thomas felt every muscle he had in his body clench.

'I'm going to light a candle, Thomas,' Andy said, that strange tone in his voice again. 'An' I hope you can forgive me for l-lying to you so. I hope you won't be scared, but- it's not pretty. I won't lie. I was never pretty for a human anyway, but this, this- this is much worse...'

Thomas gulped, feeling himself break out in a cold sweat. He nodded despite it all.

Andy got up from the bed, lighting a candle with shaking hands.

Andy turned around.

Thomas found himself staring into cold black eyes.


	2. Into the Deep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got carried away. Enjoy this mess.
> 
> Also I'm sorry if there's a lot of explanation in this. Despite this being a crack-ish situation with people's interactions also being suitably crack-ish, I wanted to get some key things out the way before fluffy good times could ensue in the third and final chapter. Christ, this got long fast.

'Th-Thomas, please, calm down...!' Andy's hands were on the underbutler's shoulders, shaking him gently, trying to steady his nerves, but Thomas was suddenly finding less and less air in the room.

He didn't think he'd ever felt so confused.

And he felt absolutely bloody terrified, lightheaded from his fear.

'Y-Your _eyes-_ ' he managed, heart pounding in his chest, the heavy drumbeat of it assaulting his ears.

And despite it all he could still smell the faint aroma of the seaside.

'Thomas, please...!' Andy leaned closer - the smell of the beach growing stronger - and gazed at the underbutler with icy black eyes.

'-I-I don't understand _any_ of this!' Thomas exclaimed, not bothering to keep his voice down as he pulled away from the footman as quickly as possible.

'Please let me explain, it'll sound a lot less strange if you just let me explain-'

' _-How?_ How can you explain _any_ of this, Andy?'

Andy made a hiccuping sound and repeated: 'Please, Thomas...' But he sounded tired, as if he'd been waiting for this, as if he'd expected this reaction. A couple of tears leaked out of the corners of his eyes and suddenly-

-Thomas finally found his way back to the shore in his swirling sea of thoughts. Because, after all, this was _Andy._ Andy Parker, the charming, doe-eyed boy who'd showered Thomas with affection and understanding. The man whom Thomas was the most fond of in all the world. The one whom Thomas simply couldn't be without anymore.

And he was hurting, gripped by the idea that he might somehow be a monster.

Though Thomas was currently toying with the idea of Andy being some mythical beast of yore, Andy was by no means a monster in terms of morality. As long as Thomas had known Andy, the footman had never harmed a single living creature. He loved animals and was protective of those he cared about.

Thomas realised he was always going to keep on loving Andy, warts and all - or in this case, tentacles and all.

_God, this is going to be a long night, isn't it?_

Which reminded Thomas-

'-...Where have the tentacles gone?' Thomas blurted out, willing himself to stare into those cold, cold eyes. A laugh bubbled up in his throat at the ridiculousness of such words, but Thomas was skilled at keeping a straight face despite everything.

'I- I can sort of of will them away, i-if I really concentrate on it,' Andy said, seeming a little calmer.

The question had opened up a dialogue. And a strange one at that.

Thomas had never dealt with anything like this before - but he intended to fully seize the opportunity while his disbelief was still suspended.

'Why tonight?' was his first question. He couldn't help it - he needed to know why it had happened so suddenly and without any explanation.

'You seemed so lovely and protective of me tonight... And then we lay there in the dark and it was warm, a-and safe and I just...' Andy flushed red, head bowing a little as he mumbled: '...I guess I just let my guard down at the wrong time.'

There was a small silence, and Thomas found his heart rate returning to normal. He put a comforting hand on Andy's forearm.

'Who are you?' Thomas said as he stared at his lap, pointedly refraining from using the word "what".

'I'm lost.'

Thomas' gaze snapped up to see Andy's face, and the underbutler was able to witness Andy's eyes return to their usual colour. The sight was familiar and comforting, if a little unnerving now Thomas knew Andy's supposedly "true form".

'...I guess I can identify with that feeling,' Thomas said softly. 'But... Why didn't you warn me sooner, Andy?'

'W-Warn?' Andy's eyes filled with tears again - he looked oh-so-human - and Thomas struggled to make amends.

The underbutler pulled Andy into his arms, running a steadying hand through the footman's curls. 'I didn't mean it like that. I'm certain you won't hurt me. You're... You're never going to be monster to me. I-I'm just confused... I don't understand how any of this is happening. I didn't think things like magic were real.'

'...Neither did I 'til I got my legs.'

'Your legs?'

'It was a dream come true at the time,' Andy said rather dreamily.

There was a small silence, and Thomas let out a long sigh, rocking Andy slightly in his arms.

'What did you look like? Before then,' Thomas asked as gently as he could. Andy still seemed fragile just then.

'It's strange. I've found I look a lot like most men from the waist-up. But I used to watch from the beach - I'd know straight away that they were different from me. No tentacles. They'd live on the land and they'd play in the sea sometimes. But they'd fear it, and they'd never get close enough to see me, the real me, not even if they tried. Their eyes were strange colours. The colours would remind me of different things. I... I guess I always loved their eyes...' Andy said with a weak, watery chuckle. 'Sometimes they were like the chipped glass when it hit the light in the day. It was like, it was like _magic,_ Thomas. And I'd always like to go after those kind of men. J-Just to watch, mind. I couldn't have them finding out anything. They can't prove anything... I just wanted to _know_ them, Thomas.'

They were lying back down on the bed now, Andy with his head on Thomas' chest. Thomas knew Andy's hands were still shaking from nerves - he could feel them against his skin. Thomas was still shocked by Andy's true appearance, but he'd loved Andy for too long to leave him in such a state.

'Is this all a dream?' Thomas asked, feeling silly for it but also feeling a burning need to know if what he was experiencing was real.

'Sometimes I wish it was,' Andy said quietly, nuzzling Thomas' chest slightly. 'I wish I could be normal for you. You don't know how hard I've wished to be normal so it wouldn't have to happen like this.'

Thomas felt a sharp stab of pain in his heart for Andy. Though the revelation of Andy being not entirely human had been hard to witness, Thomas still felt connected to Andy, and understood what it was like to wish one's self normal.

'I'll have to go soon,' Thomas said. He always wanted to stay for longer when the time came to leave, but for once he was privately glad - he needed to get his head straight for tomorrow.

Would the world he had always known still be the same when he woke up?

Andy nodded solemnly, rolling over on his side so Thomas could get up. There was an awkward silence as Thomas pulled his undershirt back on.

'...I'll never do that again, Thomas,' Andy said soberly.

'What do you mean?' Thomas asked.

'I'll never show myself to you like that again. I should have known you wouldn't be comfortable with it.'

'No, Andy...' Thomas struggled to find words to explain his point of view - there was certain amount of trepidation he felt when he thought of seeing Andy like that again, but part of him felt strangely touched that Andy had decided to open up to Thomas in such an important way.

'Honestly, it's fine. I'm not in the sea anymore. I've got to learn how to fit in better.'

The footman sounded so forlorn that Thomas couldn't take it anymore - he leaned over and kissed Andy tenderly on the mouth before he had to leave.

Andy's lips tasted like salt.

~*~

'The servant's ball is happening soon,' Daisy happily informed Andy at breakfast. 'Did you have anything like that at your last house?'

Andy shook his head as he drained his teacup, leaning back a little in his chair so he could look over at Thomas.

Thomas gave a wan smile in return, lifting his own teacup to his lips. He hadn't got much sleep, but from what he could tell, he hadn't been dreaming. There were subtle messages in Andy's eyes that prevented the underbutler from writing the whole thing off as a fanciful nocturnal imagining. Thomas didn't even have the strength to bully the temporary footmen while it was still possible; the Abbey's visitors would be leaving that afternoon, and the extra staff would depart along with them.

'No, Daisy,' Andy finally replied, turning back to the petite, dark-haired girl in question. 'And even if we had, I don't think I would've gotten on well with it. I've never been very good on my feet.'

Thomas looked down at his empty plate, finally realising what Andy meant.

What he'd always meant.

~*~

'...What should we do about this?' Thomas said as he smoked in the yard they afternoon.

Andy looked up from his fashion magazine, raising an eyebrow. 'I didn't think we had to do anything, if I'm honest. I made a mistake. I was hoping we could move on from it.'

'We can't just go on like this...'

'What do you mean?' Thomas had Andy's full attention now. 'You mean y-you want to end things?'

'N-No, never, I...' Thomas gave an awkward cough. 'It's just hard to be with someone when you don't even know... Wh-What they look like.'

'You... You want to see me?' Andy's eyes widened in surprise.

'Yes... I've been thinking about it a lot. I love you, Andy. It's time I know who you are.'

'But you know who I am,' Andy said softly. 'I'm the same old Andy I've always been. I just have a past, that's all...'

'No, no, don't try and get out of it for my sake. I'll admit, I was... Squeamish.' The memory of tentacles crossed Thomas' mind. 'But that's behind me now,' Thomas affirmed, both to himself and Andy. 'It's time.'

Andy nodded, biting his lip. 'You don't have to do this for me, though. I could always leave... I'm sorry I'm putting you through this.'

'You're my Andy.' Thomas reached out and ran a hand through Andy's hair liked he'd done the night before. 'I want to know everything about you.'

'No more secrets.'

Thomas nodded, smiling a little despite it all. 'No more secrets,' he repeated with feeling. 'I don't think I could take another shock like that with no warning.'

They both giggled nervously at that.

~*~

Thomas walked across the corridor, stopping when he heard the splashing of water coming from the men's' bathroom. There was only one other person that could be in there. The temporary footmen had finally left Downton and the rest of the male staff were working except-

-Except for Andy.

Thomas sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in an attempt to relieve tension. He still couldn't quite wrap his mind around everything that was happening.

He gave a bitter laugh. He'd found the love of his life and they weren't even human in the end. Thomas would've sworn he was going mad if it wasn't for how real everything felt.

'Thomas? Is that you?'

There were more sounds of splashing after Andy had called out. Thomas straightened his collar and answered hesitantly. 'Yes. It's me.'

'Do you think you could come in here for a second?' Andy sounded... Shy.

'Are you alright in there? Is there something you need?'

'Please, just come in here. It's important... It's about what we were talking about earlier.'

And then it hit Thomas.

_Water... He must miss water._

~*~

Thomas had tried not to yell out in shock when he'd first entered the bathroom.

Seeing Andy lying stretched out in the tub, swirls of steam rising into the air as his eyes gleamed black had been a surprise to say the least.

But the most surprising part had been the sea of black that looked like it was woven into Andy's skin. From the hips down, his skin faded into dark tendrils that seemed scale-like in texture. The ends hung over the side of the tub as if the footman was relaxing, but Andy looked anything but relaxed. He looked nervous.

Thomas had never seen anything you like it.

All he could think of saying was: 'Your hair.'

Andy's dark eyes widened as he stroked through his own curls self-consciously. 'Y-Yes?'

'Your hair...' Thomas repeated, though there was undeniable affection in his voice. 'They look like your hair.'

Andy smiled, clearly seeing something promising in Thomas' current expression. 'You can... You can ask questions about them. If you want,' Andy murmured. 'But if not, th-then that's okay.'

Thomas didn't say anything in response. He simply took off his uniform jacket and carefully rolled up his sleeves.

He slowly took a few steps forward and leaned down until he was kneeling by the side of the tub. Andy smiled and lightly skimmed the water with his fingertips.

There was a silence, but this time it was decidedly more comfortable. Thomas felt his face steadily heat up from the warmth of the room, and ran a curious finger across the surface of one of the tentacles. Their texture felt strange, but not entirely unpleasant. In a more controlled environment where Thomas could explore them at his own pace, they actually felt almost... Nice. He looked up at Andy to gauge the footman's reaction. Andy's head was tossed back a little, and he was blushing. He looked down when he noticed he was being watched, and his lips quirked upwards into a soft smile.

Thomas found he was getting used to the new - or old? - eyes already.

'Is your name really Andy?' Thomas asked.

'I gave that name for myself. But I like it better than my old name now, I'm used to it.'

'What was it before?'

'It doesn't sound the same above water.'

'Maybe one day you'll be able to tell me.'

Andy smiled again and nodded, trying to blink the water dripping from his hair out of his eyes. His curls had flattened and were splayed across his forehead. It reminded Thomas of the half-day they'd shared together when they'd both been caught out in the rain.

Andy had looked adorable.

He still did, as a matter of fact.

Thomas boldly put a hand to Andy's waist, running it down to where pale white skin met darker, stranger textures. Andy made a small noise in the back of his throat and simply said: 'That... That's nice.'

Thomas found himself blushing a little at the praise.

'Why aren't you moving any of them?' Thomas said. 'They're all twisted up over the side of the tub... That can't be comfortable.'

'I didn't want to scare you,' Andy said softly.

'I don't mind,' Thomas said quickly, hating to think of Andy in any pain or discomfort. 'I want to see.'

'...You do?'

'Yes. Didn't you hear what I said earlier? I want to know everything about you. Including the way y-you move.'

Andy's face broke into one of his shy grins, and the many tendrils wriggled slightly, fascinating Thomas. The underbutler was surprised to find himself even more curious as opposed to disgusted.

One bolder tentacle snaked its way over to Thomas, closing the short distance between the tub and the underbutler and resting on the side of his neck.

Thomas resisted the urge to recoil from the feeling, waiting until his impulses faded. He looked up to see Andy watching him with nervous dark eyes.

'I'm sorry - was I going too fast-?'

Thomas cut him off with a small smile and a shake of his head. He put his hand on where the tentacle was holding him and squeezed gently.

Andy smiled again, sweet as sugar, and sat up properly, the sound of sloshing water comfortingly ordinary in Thomas' ears. Andy turned on his side to capture Thomas' lips in a gentle kiss.

'I've never shown anyone this...' Andy said when they broke apart.

Thomas smiled, still stroking the tentacle gently. 'I hope I haven't disappointed.'

'No... Not at all.'

Thomas grabbed the soap bar, moving back down to where the mass of tentacles were. 'M-May I-?'

Andy appeared to stifle a gasp, before nodding vigorously.

'So, what did you mean by me "claiming you"?' Thomas asked as he soaped up his hands.

'Th-There are a lot of traditions where I was born. We'd sing songs and play with the humans and hunt - a-and find ourselves mates.'

'...Mates?'

'Yeah. Mates. They're like, th-they're like a husband and wife, I guess. But different. I don't know how to explain it, but it's different. But it's the same also.'

Thomas laughed a little at that, beginning to rub soothing, soapy circles on Andy's tentacles. 'So... You fancy me a bride, Andy?'

'N-No,' Andy said, clearly blushing. 'You're not a female. But I... I love you like you could be my mate. Like you sh-should be my mate.'

'I still don't know what that entails...'

'We mate for life, Thomas. We find someone special and we don't let them go. We hunt and travel the oceans together. There's never one without the other...'

'Andy...'

'...I know, I know, that must sound ridiculous.'

'No. It sounds lovely.'

'...I wish I was normal.'

'Now, hush with that nonsense,' Thomas said softly.

'I wish I had eyes like yours that lasted. Mine are so pretty, the only pretty thing about me, but they always have to fade to black.'

'I like your eyes.'

'Not _these_ eyes, Thomas. Not my monster eyes. Your eyes, your eyes remind me of the ocean, n-not really because of the colour but _Thomas,_ they're endless, they're deep as the ocean, they could go on forever. I could swim in them, I _would_ swim in them if I could, and then there's _me_ with my _monster_ body and my silly little traditions that make me-'

'-Andy,' Thomas interjected, lavishing a wide arc of soap across Andy's tentacles. 'I love you. All of you. S-Some things take getting used to, but I've been lost as well. I-I've been lost for so long, waiting for someone like you. And now I've found you, I-I'm not giving you up for anything, not for all the bloody magic in the world.'

'...Thomas...' Andy sounded touched.

Emboldened by his own vow, Thomas gathered some of the tentacles in his hands and brought them to his lips, stroking them gently. They writhed and thrived happily beneath his ministrations.

'...I love you so much, Thomas.' Andy's eyes blinked slowly, adoration radiating from him like waves.

'Let's get you cleaned off before someone comes knocking, eh?' Thomas hastily splashed water onto Andy's tentacles to rinse them off.

Thomas felt genuine, unguarded amusement when Andy responded in kind, the tentacles bursting suddenly out of the water to splash Thomas in the face.

'Cheeky,' Thomas said, trying to bite back his laugh and maintain his composure.

'No. Just happy,' Andy said.


	3. Washed Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this took so long, and I'm sorry for the angst!!! The angst ran away from me again, but don't worry, there's going to be an epilogue where I clear everything up and tie up any loose ends. It's probably WAAAY too obvious what's got Andy so rattled, but I hope the answer is sufficient. There's smut in this chapter, not necessarily "traditional" tentacle erotica but they're certainly involved. It's pretty tame but I thought I'd put a warning in there just in case. Sorry for the rather sour note this ends on, but I DID promise you a happy ending so hang in there ;) Prompts might take a little longer now I'm back in college. Enjoy! ~~and please bear with me and my awful smut omg~~

Thomas saw no glimpse of Andy's secret for the next few weeks. Part of the underbutler was glad for it - the thought of magical creatures, both benevolent and malevolent, existing in the same world as Downton Abbey and all its begrudgingly comforting rules made the hairs on the back of Thomas' neck stand up.

_'Th-There are a lot of traditions where I was born. We'd sing songs and play with the humans and hunt - a-and find ourselves mates.'_

Thomas felt a quick shudder run through him as he contemplated just what Andy meant by "hunting". The words had begun to haunt Thomas the moment they had slipped from Andy's lips. For all intents and purposes, Andy could disguise himself as a bathing human by the shore, and lure people to him at the drop of a hat. Thomas felt himself go cold all over at the thought.

'You alright, Thomas?' Andy nudged the underbutler slightly with his side. They were curled up on a faded blanket by a gentle stream, enjoying their half-day off together. The trees whispered sweet nothings and the daisies nodded gently in the breeze. This small patch of countryside was quiet, serene and often left the couple happily uninterrupted. They were both glad to be free of the Abbey, if only for a short while. It would have been a shame for such fine weather to be wasted toiling away with the absence of the others' company.

'I'm fine,' Thomas said, bringing himself out of his reverie and back into the present day.

'There's something bothering you.'

'Oh? And how would you know that?'

Andy smiled a little to himself with a slight shake of his head. 'Trust me, I can tell. I can read your mind.'

Thomas laughed at that, shaking his head. 'I highly doubt you can.'

Unless... Andy, a creature from God knows where could actually-

_Could actually-_

'-Can you, though?' Thomas blurted out before he could stop himself in time.

Andy chuckled nervously, giving a quick shake of his head. 'N-No. I was only joking..."

'Oh...' Thomas breathed a quick sigh of relief, feeling embarrassed for his lapse in composure. 'Alright then.'

'...So. That's what's on your mind?'

'I don't know what you mean.'

'You're worried. You're thinking about me. Me being the way I am...'

'It's not like that, honestly-'

'-I don't mind. I never expected any of this to be easy for us. To be honest... I think it's a miracle that we can still be together after all the things I've put you through so far. I understand how it could be hard for you.' Andy traced absentminded shapes on Thomas' uniform-clad chest, avoiding the underbutler's eyes for the time being.

Thomas carded his fingers through Andy's curls thoughtfully. 'It's funny,' the underbutler finally murmured, feeling the words that would come next needed to be said. 'I expected you to be scaly to the touch, but you were all smooth.'

'I've been meaning to ask you about that,' Andy said in a smaller voice than before. 'Did it... Did it disgust you, feeling me like that?'

'...No, Andy,' Thomas said, surprised at just how sincere he felt and sounded about the matter at hand. 'It was fine. I liked taking care of you.'

'Hmm. You were very gentle. Most humans aren't very gentle with us...'

Thomas' forehead creased in concern at Andy's choice of words. 'What do you mean?'

'I don't like to show myself. I've never shown myself w-willingly until I met you... But... People can be cruel when you need their help, and I've had to learn that the hard way. I should have listened to the others, I'm far too soft for any of this.'

'Others?' _Of course. Andy's family._ Thomas imagined a clan of curly-haired, black-eyed beauties, tentacles twisting and writing in the water, simultaneously majestic and terrifying. Just how far did this mythical species go? How deep were their roots in the world Thomas thought he had known?

'My family,' Andy comfirmed. 'B-But they must be long gone by now.'

'Oh, Andy...'

'No, no, it's alright. I made my choice. This is my life now.'

'What did the humans do to you?' Thomas asked as Andy nuzzled his chest slightly.

'...I found myself washed up on the beach after a storm.' Thomas could feel Andy's nose wrinkle slightly through the fabric of his clothing. 'I'd strayed too far away from the others. It's my own fault, really. It was a bloody horrible beach,' Andy went on to say with feeling. 'Things washed up everywhere. Rubbish, bits that weren't supposed to be there just like me. An' someone noticed me while I was trying to pull myself back to the shore, but I was slippin' all over the place with my tentacles.'

'What happened next?'

'The man... He started screaming. Backed away at first, but then he came running towards me with s-something sharp. I couldn't take any chances. And, and we're always taught from when we're tiny to get rid of any threats, so I-'

Andy's words began to sink in and Thomas' blood ran cold. 'So you-?'

'...I didn't kill him,' Andy said firmly. 'I know that much. But I-I did squeeze him quite tight when he got too close. He fell down on the ground coughing and making lots of strange noises. I was...' Andy faltered for a second. '...Me and my kind, we can't get too dry. We can't be away from the sea too long. I-I don't know why, but it's why we're taught to keep to the water... I don't know how, b-but I must have fallen asleep, and when I woke up... The man was gone and I had my legs,' Andy finished in a small voice.

Thomas could hardly believe his ears - he thought of Andy, younger than he was now, helpless, alone and trapped on the beach. The image of Andy's tentacles still sent a strange jolt through Thomas, but he felt more sympathetic than anything. Andy didn't belong on land. He was just trying to adapt as best as he could. 'You... You suddenly had legs?' Thomas asked finally. 'For no reason?'

'I know... I couldn't understand it either. It was a big shock... So I can kind of understand how you must've felt seeing me without the bloody things.' Andy bit his lip, still seeming worried as he relived the origins of his land-dwelling existence. 'Lucky for me I'd been learning English since I was born. I was always away from the others, watching people from the beach and the tide pools.' Andy smiled despite it all. 'You fascinate me.'

Thomas nodded a little, slicking his hair back with his hand. A stubborn lock persisted to misbehave after the bad night's rests he was continuing to have. 'I was wondering about that,' he admitted. 'You said something about your name being in a different language. But you sound like you've lived in London all your life...'

'People finally found me and took me in. I told them I couldn't remember anything except waking up on the beach. They thought I'd had a bump on the head. I learned about service in a little more detail, and... I thought I'd be safer there. It was like having a family again.' Andy smiled again at the thought. 'I didn't realise how much I needed people around me until my own family were gone... But th-that's behind me now, I guess.'

'How did you learn to walk with those new legs of yours?' Thomas ran a hand up Andy's thigh, more for emphasis than sexual contact. '...Did anyone notice you trying to do it?'

'The doctors that were sent for me thought I was clumsy because of the bump on the head. They thought I was really ill, but when my "condition started to improve", they left me well alone and I'm happier for it.'

So. They'd thought it was neurological damage.

'Hmm. You've had quite a journey to get all the way to here...'

'It was worth it,' Andy said softly, leaning back to look into Thomas' eyes. 'I'm here with you now.'

'But don't you miss your family now?'

'They... They never understood why I wanted to be human. I wanted to be like you so bad but they never understood my reasons. They thought I was a disappointment. I never had the guts to harm people, so I thought I'd try be a person instead when I got my legs. Turns out I'm not much cop at that either.' He smiled sadly.

'You did fine. You did it perfectly,' Thomas felt the need to say. He pressed a gentle kiss to Andy's closed eyelid. It was smooth, almost tacky, briefly reminding Thomas of when he'd held Andy's tentacles against his own lips.

'You're so lovely to me,' Andy said with a peculiar little sigh.

'Hmm. You're so lovely.'

They both sat up properly then, Thomas' arm still resolutely looped around Andy's shoulders as they watched the stream bubble and flow.

'...D'you ever miss it?' Thomas said softly.

'Miss what?' Andy replied, leaning into Thomas' half-embrace.

'The sea.'

Andy shifted a little against Thomas' side at that, as if he was suddenly finding it hard to get comfortable again. '...Sometimes when we've had our talks and you've gone to sleep I'll get up and look out the window. A-And I'll see the moon, and I'll remember how it cast light across the tidepools. And how it would make everything bright and magical. No-one could ever look bad in moonlight. A-And yeah. Then I'll miss it.'

Thomas felt his own heart ache in solidarity, finding himself wistful for a place he'd never truly experienced for himself. Even though Andy had said that he felt safer in service, Thomas couldn't help but wonder if he'd kept Andy away from his true home against the footman's will.

Andy turned a little in his position on the blanket to cradle Thomas' face in his hands. '...Don't give me that look. Because I'm not finished.'

'...Well, finish it then,' Thomas said lightly with one of his thin-lipped smiles, finding himself on the receiving end of an intense gaze instead of it being the other way around.

'...So I'll look and look at the moon and my mind will start to wander back. But then I'll look back at the bed when I get sick of seeing the moon and I see... You. And you're just... Lying there, sleeping, with your hair everywhere. Sometimes you're drooling a bit, mind...' He got a shove from Thomas for that particular jibe. The footman laughed quietly before he continued. 'And even though I miss the sea, I realise I'd miss you a whole lot more, Thomas.' Andy bit his lip, the hint of a blush starting.

Thomas smiled, and rested his forehead gently against his lovers' - before the underbutler noticed something. 'Andy... You're burning up,' he murmured in surprise.

'...What?'

'You feel like you've got a fever. Are you feeling alright?'

'O-Of course,' Andy replied, confusion in his eyes. 'I feel fine... I don't know why I'm that hot. I don't feel like I'm that hot, anyway...'

'Andy...' Thomas put his hand to Andy's forehead. 'You're on fire. Maybe we should go back and ring up Doctor Clarkson, see what he thinks-'

'-No,' Andy cut in, quietly but firmly. 'No more doctors butting in. I don't need them.'

Frowning a little, Thomas relented and pulled his hand away. 'Are you sure you're feeling alright, Andy?'

'I'm fine. Honestly.' Andy kissed Thomas soundly on the mouth. 'Don't worry about it... It's so lovely here. Let's just make the most of today.'

The stream flowed on.

~*~

'How was your half-day off, Andy?' Daisy said over supper that night.

'I had a lot of fun,' Andy said with one of his genuine smiles, and Thomas could certainly return the sentiment. He loved talking with Andy by that wonderful spot near the stream. But Andy seemed a little... flushed in the light of the servants' hall - and not to mention fidgety.

Thomas was about to ask what was wrong, but Baxter decided to speak up about her day in town just then and everyone settled down to listen.

Supper passed by without anything particularly noteworthy occurring. Thomas and Andy shared their usual jokes and coy glances, but there was something strange about Andy's expression that Thomas couldn't quite put his finger on. Hunger? Fever? Longing for something?

Thomas was starting to get concerned again.

There was also a certain undertone to Andy's voice when he rose from the table and said: 'Sorry, but I'm not feeling all that well. I think I might catch an early night. I'm afraid I may not be back to play cards this time, Mister Molesley. Good night, everyone...'

Thomas felt his concern intensify as everyone chorused "Good night" back at the likeable footman, but Andy gave a tiny, easily-missed smile in Thomas' direction and motioned with a jerk of his head for Thomas to follow.

Thomas waited ten minutes or so before stubbing out his cigarette and rising from his own seat as quickly as he dared.

Now he was really puzzled.

~*~

'Andy...' Thomas said with a sigh as he was covered in heated kisses. He'd been pushed against the wall mere moments after entering Andy's room. Andy's face was flushed and he was already panting, hands shaking as he tried to remove Thomas' uniform, as if he'd been thinking about this for a long time. Thomas kissed Andy with everything he had when Andy tangled his fingers in Thomas' hair. Part of Thomas had missed the kind of passion and desperation one gets when in the beginnings of a new relationship. If Andy was firmly back in that stage again, Thomas certainly wasn't going to complain.

The underbutler still wanted to know what had gotten into his younger lover, though.

'Andy, Andy, where's all this coming from?' Thomas asked breathlessly as they finally pulled apart from their embrace so Andy could unbutton his own trousers.

'I love the way you look at me...' Andy said, still trying to remove Thomas' uniform as quickly as possible.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Thomas asked with a wry smile as they fell back into the bed. Andy simply pulled his own braces down, and Thomas could have sworn then and there the footman knew what the sight did to him.

'Andy...' Thomas murmured again, his questions floating away until they were unreachable for the time being.

'I want you,' Andy said softly, his lips warm and teasing on Thomas' neck.

Thomas felt like he'd asked enough questions for now.

~*~

Thomas was insanely glad he'd got up long enough to press a chair against the door.

They'd never be able to explain themselves if they were found like this. There was nothing about this that could be misconstrued.

Thomas' hands were twisted in the sheets as he tried not to squirm with pleasure. His senses were clouded by Andy as he was continually enveloped by a wet, tight heat.

Andy was on top this time, sinking down onto Thomas again and again and again. They were never usually in this position - Andy would usually take Thomas, Thomas being on his back, and occasionally they switched. Thomas had to say, he was enjoying this change of pace.

Andy was lost to the world, consumed by it all, beads of sweat appearing on his back as rode Thomas with a frenetic, passionate energy that Thomas seldom saw in his young lover.

Thomas moaned, pulse pounding in his ears, one of his hands reaching up to shakily cover his own mouth. It had been too long... He felt like he had before he'd first taken Andy to bed, months of desire building up into something almost aggressive in its momentum.

The underbutler had bruises on his neck from when Andy had licked and eventually bit. Andy's hair was stuck to his forehead, curls losing their tightness. Thomas didn't think he'd ever seen Andy look so wild and lost in sex.

It was amazing.

Thomas struggled to keep his eyes open and fixed on Andy, helpless to his more primal urges as he rolled his hips in earnest, trying his hardest to match Andy's thrusts. Andy's eyes rolled into the back of his head for a moment, a frankly delicious moan slipping out of his mouth, a tad too loud for Downton and its talking walls.

Once again, Thomas certainly wasn't complaining, not when they were both so wrapped up in each other just then. It felt like there was no-one else in the world but Thomas Barrow and Andrew Parker, and Thomas was loving every moment of it. This was their escape.

Thomas finally closed his eyes, hand still grasping at the sheets as he felt the coil of heat in his stomach pull tighter and tighter. They were beginning to reach their crescendo.

'Mine...' Andy said in a voice low with lust - he was never usually this possessive over his older lover, not that Thomas knew of anyway, but Thomas still moaned happily in response, hand still clasped tight around his own mouth so sounds wouldn't escape. The underbutler's eyes flew back open and he nearly gave a noise of surprise.

Andy's eyes were dark.

Very, very dark.

Thomas bit his lip as Andy started to falter in his rhythm, the footman speeding up as his gasps became desperate. Thomas knew then that Andy was close to the edge as well. But still... His eyes... Thomas hadn't expected to see Andy this way, but there was something strangely erotic about the way they shined in the light, as if Andy was so consumed by this thing they shared that his pupils had swallowed up all the colour that had been there previously.

Andy gave this precious gasp, this little mewl, and whispered out in a decidedly less assertive voice: 'I can't...'

Thomas could return the sentiment at this point. His legs were shaking uncontrollably, and he would not be able to hold off his imminent climax any longer.

Thomas closed his eyes again, heart still hammering away in his ears as he heard a strange sound coming from Andy.

Thomas was too far gone to really register it.

That was until Andy seemed to tense - the pressure from inside him feeling spectacular - and Thomas was seized by smooth, familiar bonds, pulling him tighter and tighter towards Andy until it was slightly harder to breathe. Tears leaked out of the corner of Thomas' eyes from the effort from not making a sound.

Andy was everywhere, writhing on top of Thomas and somehow beside him and below, assaulting Thomas' senses in the most delightful way and consuming him. Thomas happily let himself be swallowed by the darkness as he tumbled into a bliss that was almost painful.

It all should have frightened Thomas.

He saw fireworks.

~*~

Thomas felt like he'd never be tense again.

He deigned to finally open his eyes, trying to work out what time it was and how long he'd been asleep. The feeling of his incredible afterglow stopped him from thinking too hard about anything.

'...That...' he finally said, voice cracking a little from lack of use. 'That was...'

He finally noticed an absence of warmth beside him. '...Andy?' he ventured, sitting up a little in bed. 'You there?' _He must have gone to clean up or something._

Thomas heard a strange noise, like liquid running off the bed. He moved his legs experimentally, noticing that they felt... Strange.

It was then that he finally looked down at himself.

He quickly suppressed a yelp of shock, body tensing up all over again.

Black. An endless sea of black.

Thomas blinked rapidly as he tried to get his breathing under control. Was this all some bizarre dream cooked up by his own mind? Would he wake up in Andy's arms to his usual nighttime routines?

He ran a shaking finger through the strange substance.

Ink.

It seemed to be... Ink.

Thomas gave a high-pitched, shaky laugh that ended as quickly as it had begun at the sheer absurdity of the situation. Ink. _Ink._ It was ludicrous, impossible. And yet... It was there, plain as day. All over Andy's bed.

Andy...

Thomas lifted his black-coated legs and swung them over the side of the bed as quickly as possible. 'Andy?' he called out again, firmer this time as he tried to stop the trembling of his own hands. Where could he have got to?

That's when Thomas noticed it.

The black mass sitting in the corner of his eye.

'...Andy?' Thomas said tentatively, shakily getting out of bed, wiping his legs with the sheet hastily. '...Is that you?'

A strange, inhuman hiss was the reply.

A shiver ran down Thomas' spine. He suddenly remembered he was stark naked, and felt horribly exposed.

'...Andy?' Thomas tried again, softer this time, and it came out as unintentionally pleading. Thomas bit the bullet and took a few steps closer to the figure in the corner, trying to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to see.

The mass of tentacles quivered under Thomas' gaze, and Andy finally lifted his head from where he was lay on the ground, stomach muscles tensing with the effort. His eyes were dark and unseeing.

'Are you feeling alright, Andy...?' Thomas asked, brow furrowing. A peculiar chill had befallen the room.

'Leave me alone.'

The voice sounded strange, almost echoing as it reached Thomas' ears, but there was a hint of Andy in there that comforted Thomas ever-so-slightly.

But the footman sounded scared. Animalistic in his fear.

Thomas tried to reach out a hand to him - noting the ink still clinging to Andy's tentacles, glistening in the candlelight - but Andy shuddered and pulled away from the underbutler's touch, thick, dark appendages lunging forward and harshly knocking Thomas' fingers away. There was power beneath the move that belied the ability to squeeze a man to death.

Thomas flinched at the defensiveness from Andy, pulling away completely.

'...Andy,' he said. 'It's me.'

Andy blinked slowly as if he was trying to work something out.

'Do you...' Thomas felt cold weight of realisation in his gut. '...Do you remember me? D-D'you know who I am?'

Still there was silence from the man in-front of him.

Thomas suddenly felt like he was going to cry - the night they had shared meant nothing. The time they'd had over the past few months meant nothing. Andy couldn't remember him, wouldn't remember him, and Thomas suddenly felt like he was standing at the edge of an abyss, ready to tumble into the awful darkness below him.

Life was grey without Andy to colour it, be he sea monster or sweet footman. Thomas couldn't live without his smile, his voice, his touch. The underbutler felt tears prick at the corner of his eyes.

The silence wore on.

Thomas found himself returning to his role as problem-solver in a last-ditch attempt to deal with his sudden pain. '...I'm going to clean the sheets in the bathroom, alright?' He said carefully. 'A-At least I'll get the worst of it out so the maids won't talk so much. You... You stay here, Andy. You stay right here. You'll... You'll always be safe here.'

Suddenly Andy tensed, though the strange, aggressive hissing noise didn't make a reappearance.

He seemed to be understanding what Thomas had to say.

Thomas held onto the glimmer of hope he'd just seen. '...I mean it.' He dared to lean a little closer to where Andy was on the floor. 

A cluster of tentacles coiled around the underbutler's wrist, but it seemed more precautionary than threatening. 'I'm always going to take care of you,' Thomas vowed. He knew Andy didn't like being coddled or belittled so Thomas usually tried to refrain from saying such things, but it would hardly matter just then. 'Don't worry about anything...' The underbutler went on to say. 'I'll take care of it for you, I promise. And you can be safe, a-and we can be together again.' Thomas bit his lip to stop himself from crying, because everything had changed so quickly, and he thought he'd been dealing with it well but it turned out that he really, really wasn't. 'Wouldn't that be nice?'

Was this even his Andy? Was this the sweet boy he loved anymore?

The tentacles, seeming to sense the intensity of Thomas' emotions, unhooked from his wrist and moved to rub gently at Thomas' cheek.

And that, simply put, was it.

Thomas burst into tears, biting down on his lip so hard that it drew blood to stop himself from sobbing loudly. His shoulders shook and his hands trembled and tears ran down his face. Some of them caught against his lips and they tasted like the sea.

And that seemed to make the whole thing worse.

Thomas felt himself sink completely to his knees, the shock and strain of the past few weeks catching up with him in full force. Andy had been taken from him, and it didn't matter to Thomas whether it was through magical circumstances or more mundane ones - it still bloody hurt. Hurt like nothing else in the world. He should have been terrified of what Andy was to him now, but Andy was the light of his life, his only source of comfort.

He gingerly lay himself again Andy, body still wracked with sobs.

He didn't expect what happened next.

Andy clumsily lay down with him again, turning to face him. Thomas gave a small whine of exasperation as he found himself staring at those cold black eyes again, but Andy leaned in next to him, making small, soft, chirruping sounds. Smooth tentacles wrapped around Thomas in a haphazard embrace, but they seemed warmer than usual.

Thomas sighed, leaning in until Andy and him were almost nose-to-nose. He didn't care if Andy was a "monster". He would love his monster with all his heart and protect him. This was how it should always be. Andy and Thomas, Thomas and Andy, together in Andy's room and wrapped up in each others' embrace.

Thomas closed his eyes.

'Thomas?'

It had been a while since any of them had spoken. Thomas opened his eyes to see the sea of hazel he loved so much. Andy looked pained.

'...Thomas, I'm so sorry...'

Thomas shook his head, not wanting an apology but unable to think of anything to say. What could be said at a time like this?

The tentacles were gone, replaced by Andy's naked, ink-soaked legs. Thomas felt himself miss the warm cocoon the tentacles had created.

'I couldn't... I couldn't change back,' Andy said in an ashamed whisper. 'I couldn't focus on it... Everything in my brain was all messed up and I, I got confused...'

'Ssshhh...' Thomas said, pulling Andy completely into his arms. They were both shaking. Relief flooded through Thomas' system - there would be complications ahead, and discussions would have to take place soon, but he had Andy back again, his Andy. Everything felt right in the world for that single moment.

'I'm so sorry,' Andy repeated, voice increasing in volume as his stress intensified. 'What have done? I-I pushed you away, like you were a stranger, it was like I didn't know you at all-'

'-Andy, it's alright, it really doesn't matter now-'

'-D-Don't you see, Thomas, it does! I-I've been so scared, these past few days...' Andy sounded close to tears. 'I'm angry, a-and protective, and I keep going hot and cold-'

'-You said you felt alright,' Thomas interjected, feeling the stirrings of anger in his stomach. 'You said you didn't feel hot... I thought we agreed on "no more secrets". I wanted you to go to Doctor Clarkson-'

'-I've been feeling funny ever since I showed you... Me,' Andy said, some of the fear coming back into his eyes. 'I didn't want to worry you even more. But if I can't keep myself under control-'

'-Andy, what are you saying?'

'I just want a normal life, Thomas.' The longing in Andy's voice broke Thomas' heart. 'I thought I had it under control... And when I m-met you I thought I'd be happy-'

'-We _can_ be happy, we just have to stay calm a-and find out what's wrong with-'

'-Doctors won't help! They'd put me in an _aquarium._ ' The revulsion in Andy's voice was tangible. 'I'm not meant to be on land, I know that now...'

'Andy, please, just tell me what's going on.' Thomas hated feeing so confused. He thought he'd finally found the one he would settle down with and love for the rest of his life, but the world as he knew it was changing rapidly and he didn't know how to stop it anymore. He felt safer when he was in control of a situation, but there was nothing he could do to find out what was going on inside Andy's head. It was like he and Andy were growing further and further apart with every passing moment.

Andy licked his lips nervously. 'I can't hurt you like this. I've put you through so much pain already. If I can't be human here, then... I'll have to be a beast somewhere else.'

'Don't say that-'

'-It's time, Thomas.'

'We'll talk about this tomorrow.'

Andy sighed, leaning into Thomas' touch. '...Tomorrow.'

~*~

_~~Da~~ Dear Thomas,_

_I have put you thrugh so much these past few weeks. I didnt mean to but its to late to go back. I dont no how to thank-you for our time together. You made me feel normal and good rather than some freak in an ~~ac~~ aquarium. Im sorry for eny mistakes. Im not very good with words. You no that alredy._

_I have to go._

_Im dangerous._

_I dont want to hurt you anymore._

~~_I love y_ ~~ _Im so sorry Thomas._

_Andy._


	4. Sailing Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand here's the epilogue! This is very soppy to make up for the last chapter, and unfortunately a bit more explanation on Andy's part about the nature of his species. Hopefully it turned out alright. Enjoy! xx

Thomas had never wanted to cry so much in his life.

There had been threats, backfired plans and acts of violence marring Thomas Barrow's sorry existence, but for a moment they all seemed decidedly insignificant, as if he had dreamed each one up all by himself. He was tired, so tired of being alone and knocked down at every turn. He felt as if this was finally the time he wouldn't get back up and recover.

All he could focus on was not bursting to tears over breakfast while the other servants tucked into their morning meal, discussing their duties and not realising that on this particular day, one of their own would not be making his way over to the table.

Andrew was gone.

That much Thomas knew.

But where on earth had he run to...?

The underbutler forced himself to take a bite out of his piece of toast. It tasted like chunks of cardboard in his dry mouth. It suddenly felt like all of the liquid in his body had migrated to his tear ducts, threatening to overflow and ruin his reputation. He hadn't felt this ill and stressed since the whole conversion therapy catastrophe.

But if he gave into his urge to weep...

...The hallboys would titter at the absurdity of it all, the older staff would look at him as if he was from a different planet - and there would be a stilted, forced conversation with Carson in the butler's office regarding Thomas' _"wellbeing"._ No, Thomas wouldn't let that happen under any circumstances.

But Baxter - _damn_ her, _bless_ her - had noticed something was wrong with her former blackmailer.

'...Thomas?' she asked softly, clearly with the intention that the others wouldn't pick up on it. There was concern in her kind dark eyes. Thomas tried not to think of the kind hazel eyes that he would usually be greeted with at the table.

'...Yes?' Thomas finally replied after he'd swallowed his mouthful of vaguely toast-like cardboard, trying to retain the servants' blank that had always served him well in times like these.

'Are you alright?' she said. 'Is something wrong today?'

Thomas wiped his eyes quickly. 'I just have a headache,' he lied, forcing a wan smile.

'Are you sure?' she murmured in a motherly tone, but Molesley apparently decided the time was ripe to butt in.

'What's going on?' the footman asked, finally taking note of Thomas' tired, miserable appearance.

'Nothing,' Thomas said in the most curt tone he could manage. Even his annoyance at Molesley seemed muted somehow. He supposed none of it really mattered. Andy was gone, and Thomas was alone again. He'd had a taste of what it meant to be happy, been completely and utterly spoilt by it and now he didn't know how he ever used to survive without it.

There was an awkward silence that said more than words ever could. Molesley seemed to finally pick up on his invading of a private conversation, coughing a little as he grasped for another subject to change to. '...It's getting late,' he finally said. 'Where do you suppose Andy is? I'm wondering where the lad's got to, I mean, he's usually rather punctual-'

_-Andy's eyes. The crinkles around Andy's eyes when he smiled. His hand atop Thomas' underneath the servants' table every morning, to remind Thomas that this wasn't all just a wonderful dream, that Thomas was still Andy's in the light of a new day and always would be._

Thomas couldn't stand it.

The underbutler sniffed slightly, trying to hold back the tidal wave, and finally failing. Thick tears leaked from the corner of his eyes before he could stop them.

He watched Baxter and Molesley's expressions rapidly changing through momentarily clouded vision.

'...Thomas!' Baxter said, looking positively alarmed by Thomas' current state.

'I'm sorry...' he said quickly, 'I have to fetch something from my room. Excuse me...' He quickly wiped his eyes, begging himself not to make any embarrassing sounds as he rose from the table, hurrying away.

He hoped Baxter and Molesley were the only ones to have seen him in such an shameful disposition.

~*~

Thomas paused in his frantic undressing of himself, looking down at his own bare chest.

There were marks; rings of pink in haphazard lines that had yet to fade despite the hours that had passed by without Andy. Thomas put a hand on one of the lines, feeling the ridges in his skin. It was strange - he didn't feel sore at all, apart from the burn in his thighs from his previous exertions, but the marks remained. Thomas wasn't sure how to feel about them just then. They served a reminder of what had brought them closer and torn them apart.

Thomas had been squeezed so tight by Andy's tentacles when they'd made love - but Thomas had never once doubted Andy's intentions. It had never crossed Thomas' mind that Andy would harm him, and the underbutler maintained this stance.

Of course, Andy's departure was eating Thomas up inside, but Thomas couldn't find it in himself to blame the footman. Andy had seemed so confused and afraid the last time the underbutler had seen him, so fragile, as if one more shock could cause him to shatter into pieces.

Andy was beautiful - Thomas would gladly spend the rest of his life with the footman. Even if it meant Andy retreating into his animal nature and them having to start all over again. Thomas would do anything to make things right between them again, love Andy, protect Andy, make Andy happy. He'd never truly understood the level of sacrifice he'd resort to for Andy, but now it was all horribly clear to him. Thomas Barrow could not live without Andy Parker.

Thomas knew that people were probably already talking about him and his abrupt exit. Baxter might even knock on the door like she had during his dark days of conversion therapy, wanting to know what was wrong.

He had to be quick with his escape from the proceedings. He had more important things to do today than serve the family. He finally threw his shirt down on the ground, not caring if it began to wrinkle, reaching for his half-day clothing.

He'd dreamt that night of tumbling into the deepest, darkest parts of the ocean, being suffocated by the silence save for the rushing in his ears as he'd fought to breach the surface again. Strange creatures had swirled around him, circling him in the water like the vultures circle the dying.

He'd finally woken when he suddenly noticed Andy below him, unconscious and dressed in full footman's livery, sinking further and further into the deep.

Thomas angrily shook his head to clear it, cursing himself for getting so easily distracted. He hated when his dreams were so horribly vivid and sinister in their meanings. But they were just dreams... There was still time, he had to believe there was still time to bring Andy back to Downton, back home where they truly belonged. He didn't even know if Andy was alright, and that was killing the underbutler the most.

Thomas bit his lip, knowing he didn't have time for any more tears.

if Andy had truly shattered, then Thomas felt he had to get to Andy in time to pick up the broken pieces.

~*~

_'...Is the beach nice there, Mister Barrow?'_

_'It was beautiful,' Thomas had said, smiling at the wonder in the young footman's eyes, 'it was beautiful there.'_

~*~

'Thomas?'

Thomas resisted the urge to snarl in frustration, adjusting his bowler hat on his head as he turned around. He probably looked less than presentable, but he was inches from leaving through the tradesman's entrance and that was all that mattered.

His gatekeeper was Baxter, that same concern from earlier burning on in her eyes. 'Thomas Barrow, I thought you'd try not to keep things from me anymore.'

'I'm a grown man, Phyllis,' he bit out. 'My business is my business.'

'Do you remember the last time you kept something big from me?' she persisted, hands on her hips. 'And you were _crying_ this morning...'

'You're not my mother,' he countered. 'And besides... This... This is different.' He forced himself to continue meeting her gaze.

'...Is this about Andy?' her expression softened at the thought.

Thomas couldn't take much more of this. He had to _leave,_ he had to find it in himself to follow the one lead he had if he was ever going to see Andy again.

'I don't think Andy will be here today,' was all he could say. 'That's all there is to it...'

'Is he ill, or something?'

'I don't know, how would I know about it in any kind of detail-?' he said hurriedly, but Baxter interjected.

'Don't play coy with me Thomas,' she said, arching an eyebrow. 'We _both_ know full well that you sleep in his bed every night. One smile from him and you light up like bloody Paris. And if that poor lad was any more obvious, bless him, he would be publicly serenading you in servants' hall every evening. Without fail.'

Thomas felt himself go red in the face. 'I...'

'...So don't act like I don't know. That _we_ don't know. The boy loves you like a husband loves his wife, anyone could see that - except maybe a few of the thicker hallboys.'

_'So... You fancy me a bride, Andy?'_

_'N-No,' Andy said, clearly blushing. 'You're not a female. But I... I love you like you could be my mate. Like you sh-should be my mate.'_

Thomas felt his chest tighten at the memory.

'Now, where is he?' Baxter demanded. Damn her. She always knew how to get under Thomas' skin.

'...I don't know,' he answered lamely, taking his hat off his head just to have something to do with his hands. 'He's upped and left. He was in such a state - I'm not sure whether he was in his right mind. I need to m-make sure he's alright.' He also needed a cigarette to steady his nerves...

'Has something happened?' she asked, tone still firm but not unkind.

'...Sort of. I can't tell you,' Thomas said softly, feeling rather trapped.

'Then where are you going?'

'To find him,' Thomas said with more conviction than he felt.

'Well...' Baxter said, stepping a little closer. 'You'd better get on with it then.' She gently took the hat from his slightly shaky grip, placing it on his head, careful not to mess up his pomade-slicked hair. '...I'm sure whatever's gone wrong can be fixed with time. And I'll cover for you,' she assured him. 'It won't be easy, but I'll try and say something to keep Mister Carson satisfied. If it means you and Andy can be together again, then...' She put a hand on Thomas' shoulder. '...Well, then I'd be happy to do it.'

'Thank-you,' the underbutler murmured, touched by her unwavering loyalty but unsure of what else to say.

She kissed him swiftly on the cheek. 'Go and make things right with your man, Thomas. Godspeed.'

~*~

_'I'm sure whatever's gone wrong can be fixed with time.'_

Baxter would never know how much comfort those words were to Thomas as he seated himself on the bus. He felt the bus jolt as it pulled away from the stop, feeling his own stomach lurch with both fear and anticipation. He was on the move - albeit rather slowly.

He'd decided to make his way to the beach that he'd gone to with the rest of the servants a few years back. Andy's eyes had lit up when Thomas had spoken of it. Now Thomas knew why.

~*~

_'Do you think we'll ever get another trip back there?'_

_'I'm not sure Andy. But...' Thomas had hesitated then. They'd been flirting for a while now, the usual back-and-forth game, but the underbutler was still wary of displaying his affection for the adorable footman in-front of him lest he'd read all the signs wrong again._

_'But what?'_

_'Well... I could always take you. It's not that far if you're prepared to make a day of it.'_

_Andy had blushed to the very tips of his ears and Thomas' heart had leapt in his chest._

_'I-I'd like that,' the lad had said, not even bothering to hide his eagerness. 'I'd like that very much, Mister Barrow.'_

~*~

It wasn't nearly as sunny as Thomas remembered it. The weather had been glorious that day, but the beach seemed almost a shell of its former self. The sky was heavier than when he'd left Downton, and he felt the beginnings of raindrops hit his skin. He knew he should check his pocketwatch - how long had the journey to here really taken? Baxter couldn't explain away his absence forever - but he felt frozen, rooted to the spot for a moment.

The waves snarled and crashed and vented their fury at the coast. They were a volatile grey-blue.

He was finally here. He just didn't know what to do next.

He took a few steps further to the shore, sidestepping some of the larger rocks that had washed up there. He tried to imagine Andy lifting up through the waves and spotting him, but the sea was so violent today that it was extraordinarily hard to picture.

Thomas was the only one on the beach today. Even the birds had kept well away.

He'd only felt this lonely a handful of times, and every time it had happened he'd told himself he'd never feel that way again.

But he'd opened his heart and now he felt achingly forlorn.

'Andy,' he said, knowing he wouldn't be heard over the crashing waves but unable to think of anything else to say. His hands clenched and unclenched as he stared at the terrible majesty of the ocean.

_Why did you have to leave me...? I thought we were happy. Baxter said you'd be serenading me every night if you ever had the chance but it should be me singing your praises. You bring out the best of me. You are the best of me. You came into my life and filled it with colour and now I don't know what I'd do without you anymore, and I'm lost without you. I feel like I'm an island away from everyone else, I've always felt that way, but you built your bridges and made your way over to me._

_I should have been stronger in-front you last night... I shouldn't have cried so much. Maybe then you wouldn't have thought you were hurting me so much, and maybe then you wouldn't have felt like you had to leave Downton behind. I just want to know if you're alright..._

_I would've loved you any way I could have you, any way I knew how. I think you're perfection._

_Now all I've got is the ocean to remind me of you, and it may be endless but it's not enough, it'll never be enough-_

-Thomas bit his lip, finding himself substantially weak from tiredness and tears. 'Andy...!' he repeated, louder this time, feeling like the pathetic old fool he knew he was.

'It's beautiful!' came a shout back.

Thomas turned around, hat falling from his head from the wind as he drank in the sight of Andy, his Andy running towards him, looking dishevelled in his suit and tie but lovely nonetheless.

'Andy!' Thomas cried out again, but this time with relief and sheer, utter joy. He knew he probably sounded like a broken record at this point but he simply couldn't help it - he'd grown older, he'd gone soft, his cold, guarded heart had begun to beat _And-y, And-y,_ over and over again until he reckoned that was what it always should have sounded like.

Andy said nothing, merely hurried over to the underbutler sporting a face-splitting grin. The footman threw his arms around Thomas, swaying a little as if the wind was rocking them.

Thomas held on tightly, breathing in Andy's scent and closing his eyes, hoping this wasn't just another bizarre dream. 'I thought I'd lost you...' Thomas murmured, close enough to Andy to be heard over the orchestra of the sea.

'I thought I'd lost _myself,_ if I'm being bloody honest,' Andy said, laughing in a surprised, anxious sort of way.

'...What were you thinking, running off like that?' Thomas finally said, voice cracking a little from emotion. 'I didn't know what had happened to you... I was so worried...'

Andy immediately became more subdued at the thought of a hurting Thomas Barrow. 'I'm sorry, Thomas. I n-never wanted to hurt you.'

'It's alright. We're both here now...'

'You came all this way for me?'

'I'd do anything for you,' Thomas said before he could stop himself.

'I didn't think I'd ever be able to get my head straight,' Andy said, sighing as he combed his fingers through Thomas' hair with clear affection. '...I thought I'd be too dangerous for you.'

'Now, how would you ever be dangerous to a "Godless heathen" like me?'

'I'm worse. Oh, Thomas, I'm supposed to be so much worse...' Andy sniffed a little, and Thomas felt the wetness of tears on his own jacket.

Thomas simply clutched Andy tighter, wishing he could hug the bad feelings away but knowing he couldn't. 'How so?'

'You don't want to know...'

'No more secrets... I can handle whatever you have to throw at me.'

Andy was trembling now, holding Thomas just as tightly. 'Please don't hate me...' he said, voice slightly higher than usual from fear.

'...Never,' Thomas promised.

'We...' Andy swallowed thickly. 'We eat you. H-Humans, I mean. We eat humans.'

Thomas tried not to let his fear show. It swept over him like a thick, uncertain fog but the moment passed fairly quickly. '...I always kind of suspected that... Ever since you showed yourself to me,' he finally replied, choosing his words carefully. 'But I always maintained that-'

'-Thomas, it's mating season.'

Now _that_ took Thomas by surprise.

'M-Mating season? What's that supposed to mean?' he asked.

'I've never really noticed any ch-change in myself since I grew old enough, b-but this year was different. I had y-you-' Andy buried his head further into the crook of Thomas' shoulder.

'-You still have me,' Thomas affirmed quietly.

'-W-Well, anyway... I showed myself to you, what I r-really was, and I guess that must've set it off.'

'Meaning...?'

'My body started wanting to... _Breed._ ' And now Thomas realised that Andy was hiding his face not just because of the tears, but the embarrassment directed at his own biology. 'You must think that's d-disgusting, but-'

'-Never. You're... You're fine the way you are.'

'I love you s-so much, Thomas... I love you like I've never loved anything before. You make me happy I've learnt English if only to say these words to you, to help you understand-'

'-I love you too,' Thomas replied, a swell of emotion burning in his chest.

'...But you're a human. I'm not meant to breed with you. I didn't understand... And my body kept sending me signals, y'see - it would get my head all scrambled and I wouldn't even feel like eating of a morning, I'd just want to be near you, I wanted to keep you safe. But the signals, th-they contradicted each other. It was a real nightmare. "Be possessive!" "Be wary of him!" "Breed with him!" "H-Hurt him!" And I couldn't do that to you Thomas, I just couldn't...' Andy shuddered, as if sickened by the very thought of harming Thomas.

Thomas felt his heart ache - Andy, sweet, gentle Andy, was being betrayed by his own body. He had a heart of gold but a body meant for murder. Thomas had seen enough of it in the war - kind young men forced to shoulder guns and kill for their country - to understand the strain it put on someone's wellbeing.

'I had no-one to turn to, so I thought I'd just go back to where I came from,' Andy went on to say. 'I had to get back to the ocean s-so I wouldn't hurt you anymore... And you'd told me about this beautiful beach.' Andy drew back, wiping his eyes quickly as his large hands moved to cradle Thomas' face.

'You could've turned to me-'

'-I didn't trust myself!' Tears leaked from Andy's puppyish eyes again, and Thomas wiped them away with his own fingers.

'I trust you,' Thomas said. 'I always will.'

'I was coming home,' Andy said, eagerness plain to see in his expression. 'Back to you, back to Downton. I just came back here to say goodbye to the sea, a-as silly as that sounds...'

'Did you find your family?'

'No. They're all long gone from the looks of things...'

'I could always help you find them. I-I know its hard, living without a family-'

'-You're always so kind but you don't need to be. I've made my mind up and so have they. You're my family now, Thomas,' Andy said, voice trembling again as he lovingly stroked the sides of Thomas' face.

'S-So you changed your mind? You can come back and be with me?' Thomas said, cautious happiness bubbling up inside him.

'...You're my mate.' He pressed a tender kiss to the side of Thomas' mouth, pomade-less curls swaying a little from the winds of the beach. '...I'm sorry, but it's true. I felt so sick when I was away from you too long, Thomas, I felt all wrong... I could never hurt you.

'I'm your mate?' Thomas said, feeling his heart flutter in his chest as he realised the magnitude of Andy's words. The raindrops had started in earnest, but though they were many they were light, and Thomas felt like he could ignore them for the time being.

'There was never going to be anyone but you. I was done for the moment I saw _you,_ Thomas Barrow. S-So if you'll have me the way I am...' Andy shrugged a little, avoiding Thomas' gaze with a small smile playing on his lips.

Thomas felt himself blush, deeply and sincerely. A fire had started beneath his skin. They said nothing for a while, merely holding each other. A particularly violent wave finally prompted him to ask: 'did you swim in that?'

'Hmm, yes.' Andy looked back up to Thomas' face. 'It was wonderful.'

'But it's so... It's so bloody volatile. Dangerous, even... A-And it's not exactly nice here today, it's not how I remember it at all.'

'I can handle myself - I've swam in the sea nearly all my life. I mean, I _was_ born there. And besides...' Andy blushed and blinked slowly, hesitating for a moment before shyly continuing. '...It was like, um, f-finally swimming in your eyes. All the greys and blues - how could I not think that was beautiful?'

Thomas couldn't take it any longer - he brought their mouths together for a searing, desperate kiss. There were no words for it - a force of nature roaring in Thomas' soul. Andy's lips tasted of the sea and Thomas revelled in it, swiping his tongue across the inside of Andy's mouth. Andy made a small noise of satisfaction, wind-weathered cheeks growing even rosier as he tangled his fingers in Thomas' hair.

When they finally pulled back, Andy's eyes were black.

Thomas thought he looked enchanting.

'I'm never going to leave you again, Thomas,' Andy said as the rain continued to fall.

And Thomas believed him.

~*~

The marks never faded.

Thomas looked down at the rings on his chest from Andy's suckers with fondness. It felt like Andy was always wrapped around him, loving him and protecting him. They were never bruises to begin with - it was ink, embedded into Thomas' skin. It had been strange at first, and Andy had felt so awful about leaving such a permanent mark on his lover, but Thomas adored it.

Andy had no such marks, but Thomas looked across the expanse of the bathtub to see a medium-length chain looped around Andy's neck. It had a small shell attached to it from when they'd both reunited on the beach that faithful day, and Andy put it on every morning without fail.

Thomas was pulled from his reverie when a solitary tentacle snaked its way over to curl playfully around his wrist. He looked up to see amused black eyes and a flushed face watching him intently.

'What are you thinking about?' Andy asked. His curls were sticking to his forehead and Thomas wanted to comb his fingers through the footman's fringe.

'Just you, nothing major,' he replied easily.

'Everything about Thomas Barrow is major. So, if we're going on that logic...'

'...Fair enough.'

'Do you think they'll find us in here?' Andy seemed worried, but his body said otherwise. A cluster of tentacles lazily stroked down Thomas' dark-haired chest. Thomas' eyelids fluttered a little at the sensation. Andy the sea creature was far more mischievous in his endeavours when compared to Andy the footman. Thomas enjoyed it for the most part - this side of Andy was all for him..

'Don't worry about it,' Thomas said airily. 'They won't think to go upstairs and find us in such a nice bathroom. They finally bloody trust me to look after the house while they're gone. It's a shame there's less staff, but downsizing means less interruptions, eh?'

'Ah, the perks of being the Boss' favourite,' Andy said, gesturing to himself with the throwaway flick of another tentacle. 

'I'm not the boss... Yet,' Thomas said with a small, amused smile. 

Andy nodded happily, still idly stroking Thomas' chest. Thomas closed his eyes at such a wonderful feeling, leaning back in the tub. There wasn't much room for two people, but luckily for Andy's anatomical quirk, he could fit into places surprisingly well. Of course, that meant a lot of his lower half was pressed up against Thomas, but Thomas certainly wasn't going to complain about that.

The underbutler had grown used to Andy's different form, had begun to love it, even. There was beauty in the way his eyes grew dark and his tentacles glistened softly. He was almost ethereal.

They'd often plan days out to the beach so Andy could be near the sea, and Thomas had grown to love the coast even more than he had before.

Life downstairs went on as normal, and Andy and Thomas knew they had to be more discreet - even if Baxter's claim of everyone knowing about what they shared was indeed true. Sometimes Thomas would catch Baxter watching Andy and himself and smiling.

It was good to have friends on your side.

Behind closed doors, Andy was almost a different man. Though he was still sweet, gentle and non-confrontational, bedroom antics had progressed to a stage Thomas had never thought possible. Andy was far more confident in himself since they'd had a secret to share. Thomas had never had someone love him so tenderly, want him as much or make him see stars behind his eyes worthy of the constellations.

Life was sweet.

Thomas felt the tentacles stroking his chest reach down into the luxuriantly warm water, plunging down until they found Thomas' crotch. Thomas shivered again, intensely this time as Andy's tentacles first made contact.

'-Cheeky,' Thomas said with a surprised laugh.

'No,' Andy said. 'Just happ-' His sentence was cut short when Thomas reached over and splashed him in the face. Andy dissolved into giggles, face growing redder.

There was no time for heavy conversation now their game had begun.


End file.
